The 5 Products Every Man Actually Needs (And the 10 You Don't)

The men's grooming aisle has become an absolute circus. Multi-step routines. Twelve-piece kits. Beard "essential oils" that cost more per millilitre than petrol.

You don't need any of it. Here are the five products we'd actually recommend buying.

1. A proper shampoo Sulphate-free, no fragrance bombs. Anything that costs between £8 and £15 from a brand that's been around longer than two years. Don't buy the supermarket one with the racing-stripe bottle.

2. A decent conditioner Same rules. Conditioner is more important than shampoo for keeping a fade looking sharp.

3. One styling product (and only one) If your hair's medium length and textured: a clay or paste. Matte finish. If it's longer or smoother: a pomade. Don't buy three "for different days" — pick one, learn how it behaves in your hair, move on with your life.

We sell Reuzel, Uppercut and Layrite in the shop because they're the three we trust. You're welcome to buy them from anywhere — they're the same product wherever you get them.

4. Beard oil — if you have a beard worth oiling Anything over stubble length. Argan or jojoba base. Six drops in your palm, work it in. That's it.

5. SPF Every barber will tell you this and most men will ignore it. The thing that ages your skin and your scalp faster than anything else is the sun. £15 for a decent face SPF buys you a face that looks like it earned its age, instead of one that looks tired in every photo.

What to bin Toners. Beard balm AND beard oil — pick one. Anything sold as "men's" with a generic claim like "boost your confidence". Anything in matte black packaging that doesn't list its ingredients. Multi-step routines from brands run by people who've never had to look themselves in the mirror after a hangover.

Five products. Done. Anything more than that is the industry selling you a problem you don't have.